Monday, May 23, 2011
In 2006 and 2007 I lost a total of 80 pounds. I could only maintain about 65-70 pounds of that weight off until I got engaged and I maintained most of the weight off until I got pregnant with Ellie. When I got pregnant with Ellie, I gained 60 pounds. Lost 25 pounds after birth and then immediately got pregnant again when Ellie was 4 months old. I gained 40 pounds with Annabelle and lost 31 pounds within 6 weeks of giving birth! Both my pregnancies were semi-high risk and I had to take it easy with both of them. Don't get me wrong, my pregnancies are all to blame... I am mostly to blame.
Since Annabelle has been born I have yo-yo'd losing 15 pounds than regaining most of it back a total of 3 different times in the past year. It's been very, very discouraging. My metabolism is shot. I have no room for error. It would take me 3 long months to lost just 15 pounds and I would get discouraged and fall back into my old eating habits. Than, I would get motivated again, do the same thing, and get discouraged again because the weight wasn't coming off fast enough. I'm sorry, but when you weigh what I weigh, you have to see changes pretty fast to get encouraged.
My awesome husband got gym memberships for us at the gym a 1 mile away. Doug works out at his gym at work but also wanted to work out with me sometimes. His gym at work is only for employees. Well, the auto-withdrawal came every month and we never went. Two months past and we still hasn't gone.
The beginning of this week, I decided, no matter what, I am going to go at least try to work out. They have childcare there and it was a perfect way to get a little break and better myself at the same time.
I dropped the kids off and they were ecstatic to play with other kids and play with new toys. I began on the treadmill walking. Super boring. I scanned the gym looking for someone about my size to make me feel better. I saw someone similar to my size and that gave me hope. If I didn't see someone similar to my weight, I probably would of left. No joke. I got tired of the treadmill and I walked over to look at the weight equipment and froze. I was not going to get on those with how big I am. I was embarrassed. I began to walk away and this BEAUTIFUL young girl, grabbed my shoulder.
"I see you looking at those machines. Were you thinking about using them?" She said with her gorgeous smile and to die for bod.
"Honestly, I don't know what I am doing. I really don't know what I am doing." I said totally embarrassed and humiliated. Humiliated not because she made me feel that way...I felt humiliated because I look the way I do. I let myself go, I put myself on the back burner for the last 3 years.
"Well...hmmm....I got about 15 minutes until my next client. I guess...yeah, let me work with you for 15 minutes. That is all I got, let's go!" She said has she gently pushed me to an area to work out.
We did 15 minutes of intense working out. I impressed her.
"You want this, don't you?" She said.
"I'm done. I really want this." I responded.
A couple of days of sessions later, I was talking with the manager of the gym. "We want to use you!" The manager excitedly told me. "I will give you a deal on a personal trainer if you will do a 3 month, 6 month, and 9 month testimonial with pictures."
For those of you that know me, I am not a flake. I commit to things and I wouldn't commit to this guy if I wasn't serious. I commit to be his Guinea Pig for 1 YEAR! I will be working with two woman personal trainers. My measurements, weight, and fat percentage will be checked many times within this next year.
So... I'm SO ready! How did I think I could just lose weight by eating better? You HAVE to do both!
I am so excited! The most excited I have been since Doug asked me to marry him and when my girls were coming into this world. If you think of me, please say a prayer for me for strength and endurance. I will be blogging about my journey for accountability.
Did I mention my trainer is on the cover of a magazine? :)
It's on like Donkey Kong!
Posted by Jessica Benson at 11:39 AM