In 2004, I went through a divorce from my first husband. I was completely and utterly broken. I daily dreamed of marrying a good, Christian man and having a bus full of children. “If only…” was the thought that entered my head daily.
If only I had a good husband.
If only I had children.
Well, four years later, obviously God is an amazing God and blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. I have a husband who loves Jesus more than me and three beautiful girls. However, the “if onlys…” never seem to go away. You see, we always lived in condos or townhomes when we were newly married living in Seattle.
If only I had a house… and with a yard and a garage, preferably.
And as the years went on; we finally got to rent a house. Oh, my “if only” was answered.
But then, you see “if only we could buy a house right now”
Or “if only I looked like her”
Or “if only I had a house that was 2,000 more square feet”
Or “if only we had more money in the bank”
Or “if only I had a newer car”
Or “if only I could have one dang moment to myself… for a whole day without interruptions”
Or “if only we could take that much needed trip”
Oh, the “if onlys” sometimes consume me. And yet, I forget about the broken girl who prayed and prayed for a family.
I always try to remember what Paul said in Philippians. "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:11-13
Today, thank God for what you have and pray for Him to show you the blessings you don’t see. What an amazing, loving Father in Heaven we have, that loves us no matter what. He is all we need.
And “if only” I could get a shower today.
Thank you Jesus.