"How Can You Give a Child Back?"

This is my first blog post in a very, very long time (over a year.) I'm so excited to start blogging again! I thought it would be a good way to update people in Washington of what the Benson's are doing.

So much has been going on... where to start? Well, God is SO good! He has blessed us so much here in Arizona. I'm not gonna lie, the first 6 months of living here were B.R.U.T.U.A.L. We missed everyone in Washington so much, and the 115 degree heat didn't help. We have adjusted and are truly blessed to have such awesome, new friendships. Our girls love it here. We love our awesome house (we rent) and are so blessed to live here. We have filled it with many friends and family. We have been blessed to have so many visitors from out of state!

I have been going back and forth about posting about how we are becoming licensed foster/adoptive parents. We have gotten so many questions and comments. Doug and I feel we should share the passion God has laid on our hearts.

First I have to say, Doug and I don't feel in anyway qualified to do this. I'm not this "super" mom who has her house spotless and her children so well behaved. But we do believe God is equipping us each more everyday and it is because of HIM we are able to do this. It will be hard, we know this. We desire more children and God has been very clear to us we should adopt. 

The most common question I have gotten is, "How can you give a child back?" 

Well, we are totally heartless people so it will be easy. 

I'm joking.

People who know me, know I am quite the opposite, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I love a little too easy. So my answer to you is, foster/adoption is a calling. I can't give a child back that I have fallen in love with, but God through us can. I have learned in our PA-MAPP certification class that reunification with the birth family is a beautiful thing and a beautiful thing to be apart of. We will cry, we will grieve, but ultimately we will know it was God's will for that child. Our goal is to adopt another child. God adopted us into his family so we will adopt God's child in our family.

Another question we get is, "Have you really thought about this?" 

Nope, we like to be irresponsible and not think things through. We haven't researched, read, or talked to anyone who has done it.

Again.. I'm joking. 

Yes, we have thought this through! We have researched, read mountains of articles, and talked to MANY people who have adopted through the foster care system. Does that mean we are experts? No! We will learn so much more when we care for this child. 

And I know we will think this is way harder than we thought.

We have been praying hard for the past 8 months. God has spoken through His people to us. I have woken up in the middle of the night praying for the baby that will be placed in our home and for strength and endurance, for God's ultimate will for this child. 

I dream and I think about the baby God will decide we can adopt. What he or she will look like? What personality they will have? 

I have days when I get scared and think I am so unqualified, but then God calms my heart every time. Please pray with us through this journey. We are honored to be called to do this, but we need so much prayer. It looks like June 1st is when we will have our license and from what I hear, you get a call for a child within hours. 

One last thing to think of... what did these children ever do to deserve to sit in a shelter? I heard recently, 47 babies are sitting in shelters right now because there aren't enough foster home. 

Fourty-seven babies. 

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God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called.

JB

Weight Update

My journey to getting healthy started about 60 days ago. I'm not gonna lie, it's been hard. Probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. No one told me to ease into an exercise program slowly. Well if anyone knows me, I don't do anything slow. Ha! I went in full force, eating 1600-1900 calories a day, vigorously exercising 1 hour a day three to four times a week, and saying no to "poison food".

My body did not like this. It was saying, "NOOOO, Jessica, STOP!" After my first workout, I couldn't even move my legs the next day. By the second day, my legs began to swell. After a week of the program, I started having massive anxiety attacks. By the 2-3 weeks, I was having dizzy spells and almost passed out at the gym. The fatigue the day after working out was brutal. There were days that I could only care for my kids and everything else (the house, errands, friends) had to wait. When 5 weeks hit, I was about done and ready to give up. 

My body was throwing a fit. The only thing that kept me going was God whispering in my ear to keep going... to pull through. I kept going and after 5 long, hard weeks, my body adjusted. No more anxiety attacks, no more dizzy spells, and no more fatigue. Yes, I have days that I feel sore and a little tired but I feel awesome. Finally, my body is adjusting!

My advise to you all is ease into a exercise program slowly. Give your body time to adjust. 

I've been taking before and after pics and honestly, I don't have the guts to post them yet. Maybe when I hit the 50 lb mark I will. :) Hey, I'm half way there.

Here is my weight loss over the past 11 weeks:

Week 1 - Down 8 lbs (I had a 4 lb start from going on and off Weight Watchers over the past 9 months)

Week 2 - Down 1.8 lbs

Week 3 - Down 2.4 lbs

Week 4 - Down 2.2 lbs

Week 5 - Down 2 lbs

Week 6 - Down 1.4 lbs

Week 7 - Down 1.7 lbs

Week 8 - Down 2 lbs

Week 9 - UP 1.4 (This was the 4th of July weekend and I had a hard, hard week)

Week 10 - Down 3.6 lbs (Lost the weight I gained the week before, plus 2.2 lbs)

Week 11 - Down 1.4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 25 lbs